It isn't proper...

Exhaustion

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Fri, 16 May 2008 00:04:30 -0400

I function well when I'm exhausted.

I'm not taking "about to die exhausted", just the level where you're more in tune with how your muscles don't want to fight gravity any longer. How there's a weight on your eyelid that seems to want to keep it shut. Quiet contemplative thoughts, scrambling for where I left off and who I needed to help next. It was a juggling act. It felt like too much and I didn't do perfect, but I'm proud for doing what I got done.

I'm pissed about thinking I lost my checking card. I'm pissed that I had to jump through my banks hoops to put a hold on my accounts and scrambling to figure out if there are any automated payments that might bounce. I wasn't thrilled about the little sniper calls from people who chipmunked my number away for when they need my help (because my phone's ring makes me jump) but I didn't show it. I got over it and I made them happy. They have other people's email address and phone numbers, other people that could hook them up with me, but they like the source and while this sounds cocky "I can't say I blame them". I fought my away around, I got my answers, I know who to go to when I need something that's out my grasp. Most of the time I'm about results and who shouldn't be proud of that. I'm not crazy with saying no. I don't mop myself into corners by doing -everything- someones way -- sometimes I can cut straight to the heart with an email and avoid begging, pleading, tone of voice, and strange reasoning ... When I sense "emotion flags", I love communicating through email. Just tell me your problem, I don't need the "puppy" act.

I'm happy I got some more work done on our system and got more positive feed back. I like feeling like what I do is ultimately beneficial. I hope in some way the things I do can make a difference.

I'm happy I got to spend time with my sister. I'm relieved that we had some time to talk and make light of everything that irks us. I'm proud of acting goofy and making her and my neice laugh.

Finally, I'm excited I get to sleep now. despite the bug to do more "stuff", to have "fun", and browse around... I need to recharge! Night people!

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A conversation with a lot of insight concerning me.

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 01:05:21 -0500

Sis: Syracuse lost today.
me: so what?
sis: it'd just be nice if something nice happened today.
me: Well, I'm sure a lot of nice things did happen today. I had a nice day!
sis: oh yeah, someone got shot and is in critical...
me: and since when does our local news cover anything NICE happening? Or any such effort event that has anything to do with the betterment of society? It's stupid. It's empty. Win, Lose, my life is no different either way!

I am the only person in my family that could give a squat about sports. Any kind. Win, lose, tie, I don't care. It doesn't break my spirit. It doesn't leave me hopeless. Sometimes I might go to a game if offered tickets. I know what's going on and I cheer but it's so fucking unimportant to me that it disgusts me when people tell me that their day is ruined because someone dropped a ball and expect me to give a crap about it. If I have had any motto or driving desire in any sport its to do my best, challenge myself, and have fun. I invest myself in our society, not our sports. Sorry!

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QotD: Happy Birthday To Me

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:00:30 -0500

How do you feel about your birthday? Do you look forward to it and remind all your friends, or do you dread it and try to keep it a secret?

Well. It's a reason to:

a. Party
b. Eat cake and my favorite food.
c. Open gifts.
d. Drink.
e. have fun

So, I feel pretty fine about my birthday. I try not to schmuck it up by talking about it all the time. I like people to remember on their own. If not, well... I'll tell them, no guilt strings attached. If people don't know and never asked then I suppose that's fine. I figure those who care ask, know, and remember. Whatever :)

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QotD: Cards & Letters

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 01:21:44 -0500

What do you do with the cards and letters you receive? Do you keep them all, just keep the photos, throw them away?
Inspired by jacolily.

This is just one of those questions where you can feel the eyes of everyone who has -ever- sent you a card tear up while they refuse to blink waiting for you to post the answer. This is one of the reasons everyone logged on today and *SIGHED* when they saw this question. Can you really answer it safely? "oh yes, I save them all... I've have to buy 2 extra houses to keep those and the rest of every precious doodad and gum wrapper everyone's ever given me" or "no, i'm a callous bastard that ripped into a card looking for money and then shredded it after I read who it was from. heh. lol. yeah. nice. thanks." Which reinterpreted answer is right in whose eyes?

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QotD: Rituals For A New Year

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 10:52:02 -0500

What are your rituals or traditions for starting off a new year?

You have to admit, I was close. This whole rituals/traditions thing came out of thin air!

My family gathers for a nice dinner. That's about it, really.

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QotD: My Holiday Wishlist

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 21:30:06 -0500

What's on your holiday wishlist?

I wish I could -really- afford this holiday. I was lucky enough to be enrolled with an insurance agency that let me split my payments into two payments instead of the 6-month lump sum... That was nice, a little more costly, but nice considering when this payment came.

I wish I could cover some charities and folks outside my looong holiday list. I'll give here and there, but not as much as I'd like. my budget isn't really stretched thin, it's a gag prop for a clown or comedian... Just depends on perspective really.

I wish didn't sigh so much. I don't mean to, but I do. I sigh at work. I sigh during the drive home. I Sigh on sunday nights. I sigh when I shouldn't and it's followed by "I'm tired", and I'm not. It sucks and I'm pretty conscious about it. People ask what's the matter, I respond "nothing". Of course it's something, but it requires too much effort and precious time to discuss.

I wish I was doing as well as I thought I would when I graduated. What a joke!

I wish I could take a nice long vacation. By myself. After I posted that picture from St. Lucia I decided that's the place I wouldn't mind going there.

..... oh wait ... I'm completely off the holiday topic!

I wish santa comes and fills everyone's stocking with a TON of goodies. hee hee! ^_-

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QotD: En Route

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 21:15:22 -0500

What is your daily commute like? What is the weirdest thing you've seen on that commute?
Submitted by E.

It's short. I don't live too far from where I work. It takes about 15 minutes to get there and if it wasn't for the lights, it'd take about 7 minutes.

The weirdest thing? Happens -every- day. People pull stupid shit and I have to be ready for it. Last week was fun though -- a bus tried to merge into my ~~lane~~ car. I decided it was a good time to go from 40 to 65 in seconds rather than go into the car in my neighboring lane.

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QotD: As If I Need To Explain...

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 22:54:18 -0500

List five reasons (at least) why you are awesome.
Submitted by goobers18.

This strikes me as a silly question I'd hear discussed between young kids -- probably boys. Each retorted answered beginning with the phrase "OH YEAH?!!!..." Me talking about things that I think makes me awesome makes me cringe. It's not that I don't think I do things well. I do many things well, but I wouldn't put anything on a pedestal. I see all my attributes and talents as things that are always up for improvement, enrichment, refining and even perhaps, some "hacking".

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Vox Hunt: Like No Other

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:57:41 -0500

Show us what makes you unique.

I think it would be easier to show you how I am not unique. This goes for everyone I know. I've never found myself confused by the people I've come to know. I've come to know everyone I know as unique. So there.

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QotD: Penny Pinching

nobody@vox.com(Bouche) — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 08:40:01 -0500

What are some ways you save money?
Submitted by Pixiemom.

If some store has a card or club, I sign up for it. If there's a sale, I'm there. I wait until "hot" items fall in price. I go to second hand cd/dvd shops. I check the bargain areas of shoe and clothing stores. Sometimes I shop at the salvation army. I look for get "two for" deals. I save change. I weigh the benefits and negatives of wanting what I 'want' and not need. I read labels. Tons of things.

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