1 post tagged “exhaustion”
I function well when I'm exhausted.
I'm not taking "about to die exhausted", just the level where you're more in tune with how your muscles don't want to fight gravity any longer. How there's a weight on your eyelid that seems to want to keep it shut. Quiet contemplative thoughts, scrambling for where I left off and who I needed to help next. It was a juggling act. It felt like too much and I didn't do perfect, but I'm proud for doing what I got done.
I'm pissed about thinking I lost my checking card. I'm pissed that I had to jump through my banks hoops to put a hold on my accounts and scrambling to figure out if there are any automated payments that might bounce. I wasn't thrilled about the little sniper calls from people who chipmunked my number away for when they need my help (because my phone's ring makes me jump) but I didn't show it. I got over it and I made them happy. They have other people's email address and phone numbers, other people that could hook them up with me, but they like the source and while this sounds cocky "I can't say I blame them". I fought my away around, I got my answers, I know who to go to when I need something that's out my grasp. Most of the time I'm about results and who shouldn't be proud of that. I'm not crazy with saying no. I don't mop myself into corners by doing -everything- someones way -- sometimes I can cut straight to the heart with an email and avoid begging, pleading, tone of voice, and strange reasoning ... When I sense "emotion flags", I love communicating through email. Just tell me your problem, I don't need the "puppy" act.
I'm happy I got some more work done on our system and got more positive feed back. I like feeling like what I do is ultimately beneficial. I hope in some way the things I do can make a difference.
I'm happy I got to spend time with my sister. I'm relieved that we had some time to talk and make light of everything that irks us. I'm proud of acting goofy and making her and my neice laugh.
Finally, I'm excited I get to sleep now. despite the bug to do more "stuff", to have "fun", and browse around... I need to recharge! Night people!
