1 post tagged “distraction”
If there was a calendar here with my postings or if you're attentive and have noticed, before tonight and the night before -- I haven't hit Vox up very much. It's because I normalized my sleep schedule.
I live in a house of scarce resources. Specifically, scarce net resources. I'm also unemployed and poor. As far as sleep's concerned, I feel I'm a bit of a sadist because even though I can get enough sleep, I'll deprive myself at any distraction that glistens and catches the corner of my eye. I'll flip channels, surf the net, clean my room, walk outside alone at night seeking scenic views and park benches to sit on in quiet contemplation, strike up convos with friends from opposite timezones, read wiki's, email scams, and screw with graphic programs rather than sleep 'just because'. I hit the sack eventually, but in time not to give myself enough time to hit a decent stride of REM sleep. I'll wake up around the crack of dawn because I hear noise, because it's too warm, or just because -- sometimes I'll wake up earlier. Last night, not long before I retired for sleep, I took a benadryl to help sleep along. If I don't fall fast, any random thought could cause me to resume my urge to deprive myself of decent sleep. I don't feel alone or unique in this, I feel many go through this. I'm doing it now. Listening to music, typing about avoiding sleep to avoid sleep. In college, it was acceptable to skip a night. It's expected sometimes. But now, I have no good reason. I'm not saying interacting on my blogs and social web accounts aren't good but until I get dsl or cable... I'm going to have to disappear now and then because living like this, along with some other factors I currently live with isn't healthy or good for me. :-/ I'm typing this more for myself, for conflicting reasons, than to type up some shorter entry that would paint the same picture.
I feel we all have some sort of sickness we wrestle with, earnestly or half-assed. I know someone who has some pretty heavy health issues due to their lifestyle. For a period of time, physicians were uncertain as to where the sickness hailed from and what exacerbated it. During this period, this person consequently changed for the better because they were to sick to act upon what made them ill. Now it hasn't been a month past the diagnosis was stated, past advice given and prescription issued and old habits are already beginning to reinstate themselves. Slightly different vehicles or delivery, but the desired effect and side-effects are still dealt. I feel a lot of sympathy and fear for this person's path and in a way, I see myself being just as reckless, yet running a different race entirely.
When I miss out on sleep, my immunity eventually suffers. I start seeing things (at least, I used to in school). I nod off, even when I try my damnedest not to. I can't multi task, I'm ornery, and suck down much more coffee than than any other human needs. So, I give up and I'm going to get some sleep. I'll see you all here and there, in much shorter entries and responses.
